Yes he is still alive! But my kitchen cart, I am afraid it has seen better days. I love my kitchen cart. Not as much as my family, but it is a perfect fit in my kitchen. The color is ideal, it has great storage and I got it for a bargain. The kitchen is my room in the house. I have it set up the way I like and it is a personal almost spiritual room for me.
He lulled me into complicity lately. His Asperger's has been on the back burner lately. The book incident should have been a clue. He is like an ocean. There are calm days and they can go on for a while, but don't turn your back on it. It can change on you in an instant, with no warning. The ocean right now is choppy and I can't help but think that a storm is a brewing.
I cried because of this. I know that there are times he gets compulsions. Today it is ripped paper or scratched table surfaces, but what happens next. We never know when the destruction will happen and he can offer no explanations about why. I wish I could just look into his head and figure out how I can help him.
Being a parent is hard. Add on top of that marriage issues then multiply that by a child with Asperger's and that is the equation of my life right now. The solution is unknown right now and I don't even know how to find the solution. Just breathe!
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