I have had so many readers, friends and family show me amazing support in these last few days. Thank you all so much. It means the world to me. It is because of all of you that I have been able to exist these last few days.
The ending of my marriage is no surprise. If you have been reading my blog you know that we have had our issues. He has been mean and abusive at times. I too have had my moments that I am not proud of. The cheating was just the final straw.
To be fair he has his good qualities. When we were dating he would shower me with positive affection and love. He proposed to me at the top of the CN tower in Toronto. He even managed to get management to open up the sky deck (it was closed to the public due to clouds) so he could propose to me at the top of the world.
I have said it before and I will say it again, it is no picnic to live with me. I have depression and can hide away from the world for huge chunks of time. I am moody and it has been said that I have a temper.
That said he did cheat on me, he broke our vows and now our marriage is over. It is only because I have had such positive support and such wonderful children that I have been able to function these last few days. Not all the feedback I have received has been positive. I have been asked by one individual to keep my private life private. They suggest that I am turning my family drama into a cheap talk show. My own mother was horrified that I share such personal information with the world. SHe says it is none of their business.
So why am I doing this? Why am I opening up my dysfunctional marriage and life to the world? I firmly believe that people who hide their "dirty laundry" can be the ones that just disappear. I could have just hidden away in my room and would I have been missed? I was miserable and alone, it was even hard for me to be there for my children. It was writing this blog and sharing my story that gave me the strength to keep going. It was therapeutic and still is.
A side effect has helped keep me going. I have heard from women who have read my story and have found the strength to make their life better. Writing this has been good for me and it has been good for others.
So in response to anyone who wants me to keep my personal life private, NO!!! By keeping quiet horrible things have happened all over the world. While my life may not save the planet, maybe it can help save a family or two. Maybe it can help someone find the strength they need. That is why I am sharing my life.
Thoughts and observations of my life as I am going through mid-life changes. I am a mom dealing with depression, a child with Asperger's, an abusive ex-husband, plus moving back home with my parents to help take care of them and now my grandmother and both parent's death in just a fourteen month timespan. Simply put my house is full of chaos. As I start to walk this new path I will leave a trail of stories for you to follow. Thanks for traveling with me.
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