I Walk Funny

The big Neurologist appointment was today. I was all prepared for it. I had the printout of adult symptoms of dyspraxia and all the underlines of symptoms I had. I had the report from my third grade evaluation showing I had motor skill problems. I woke up early and got there in plenty of time. I had the paper work filled out and was hopeful that I would find out a reason for all my clumsiness.

I had barely sat down at the office after checking in before they called me back. Once in the examination room I didn't even have enough time to flip through a magazine before the doctor came in. So far a wonderful appointment. It isn't often that I don't have a seemingly endless wait for the doctor.

She asked why I was there and I told her I was curious if my clumsiness was due to dyspraxia. She looked confused and asked me (the patient) what was dyspraxia. I could see the expression on her face and it was not one that filled me with confidence.

So I handed her the sheets I had printed out about dyspraxia and she barely glanced at it. She never even unfolded it all the way or looked at the second sheet before she handed it back to me. I tried to show her my third grade evaluation and she didn't even reach for it. I did read it to her though.

She asked me what my concerns were and when I looked at the paper that I had underlined she asked me not to look at the sheet that I had brought with me with the notes I had written on it and things I had underlined that applied to me. I drew a blank. I couldn't remember most of them, which oddly enough is a symptom.

She watched me walk and did agree that I have an abnormal gait. She it is confirmed that I walk funny and an probably clumsy because of it. She said I didn't have dyspraxia (remember she didn't know what it was at the beginning of the appointment and didn't read the documents I brought with me that explained what it was) because people with dyspraxia (even though she doesn't know what dyspraxia is) can't do simple tasks (which as far as I know is NOT a symptom or result of dyspraxia).

She is scheduling me for a MRI because I have a lot of headaches and have an abnormal gait. It is scheduled for Friday and I am taking advantage of sedation for it. I get uncomfortable watching people have their heads in enclosed spaces and the idea of having my head enclosed in a noisy MRI machine is something that makes me very uncomfortable and fills me with dread.

I have a follow up at the end of June and I think I am going to find a doctor that knows what dyspraxia is. Only when someone who knows what dyspraxia is tells me that I don't have it will I believe them. So as it stands it is official, I walk funny and have all my life.