The Date

I have really been looking forward to this date.  If you had asked me a few years ago about online dating I would have laughed and said it was not for me.  I might be right.  This was my second first date using an online dating sight.  The first guy (not so cute) was wonderful to talk to and the conversations we had were fantastic!  The second guy and I have been talking on the phone and he seemed okay but the conversations have been a bit one sided and choppy.  But he was cute so I agreed to a date.  He lives far away so we met in the middle.

I was safe and would only meet him in a public place in the middle of the day.  He picked McDonalds.  While we were there he didn't ask if I wanted anything (I didn't but it would have been nice to be asked.  It was a date after all.) while he drank his coffee.  Then he started to get all touchy and was suggesting we gets bottle of wine and find a place to drink it.

Then he wanted me to let him get into my car so we could drive to another location.  No, sorry, not happening!  So I made sure we stayed in our separate cars and I filled him to another public area so we could walk a little.  The weather was beautiful and I was looking forward to being outside and not shivering.

On the way to our walk, while in our separate cars, I called my brother and asked him to give me a call in a half hour so I could duck out of the date if I felt the need.  I fully expected to need that call.  I have never done that before.  This was all new to me.  I never dated much before I met my ex and that was many years ago.

 We parked in a small lot overlooking an intersection between two creeks.  You could clearly see where the two flows combined.  It was beautiful.  I was mesmerized.  It would have been a great romantic place.  Oddly here he was almost ignoring me.  I was clearly interested in the beauty of nature and he was not interested in it at all.   he wanted to go on our walk so I made sure we walked on the main street of the village we met in.

On the way to the parking lot I noticed a cute shop that promised books, toys and food, three of my favorite things!  I was hoping that we would walk by it.  We must have been an interesting pair to watch as we walked.  He was 15 inches taller than me.  Luck was with me, he turned toward the store I wanted to go to.  I was even more lucky when we got there and it was open.  Yes, on my big date, I decided to go shopping.  I said I wanted to go into the store and before he could protest I was in.

This was my dream store.  Educational toys, fun toys, cute toys, toys from my childhood and even those roll caps that we used to hit with a hammer to make them bang.  I still remember the smell those caps made.  I should have bought some.  I was clearly thrilled to be there and he was there.  A few times while we were in the store he tried to initiate conversation.  I have to give him credit for that.  He just couldn't keep it going.

I shopped, I bought some items to use in the classroom.  I found Guatemalan Worry Dolls, I buy them

every time I find them.  I even found those gunpowder filled paper pops that my kids love to play with.  He bought a bottle of Coke and didn't offer me any.

We found a bench to sit on and again he was all touchy.  I was very uncomfortable and at least got him to stop trying to kiss me.  Then my phone rang and I am sad to say that I took my out and rushed home.  Well, I drove home for over an hour and bought myself dinner because I was starving!

Now I have a third guy messaging me, again he looks good and seems okay on line.  But in person we are not doing okay.  They seemed thrilled with me, and both are asking me out again.  I have said no to both.  I have gotten away from one less than ideal guy and I am not planning on going through that again.  So I am being picky and I am being assertive.  When did I become this person?  The woman I was before I met my ex was terrified to call him on the phone.  Now I am messaging guys online looking for a date.  Surprise!

The Longest Day

6 am - I am awakened by my father looking for a shirt.

"I need a shirt, I need a shirt, where is a shirt, I need a shirt, a shirt, where are my shirts?  I need a shirt, I have a sweater but I don't have a shirt."  This continued for about 15 minutes.  If you know me then you know I don't do 6 am well.  Usually if I see it, it is because I haven't gone to sleep yet.

I know what is next so I don't even try to go back to sleep.

6:30 am - My ex calls to let me know he is on his way to pick up the kids for school.  Since I am awake and trying to figure out the bed situation between two kids at two houses, suddenly we need two more beds.  Of course when I say we, I really mean me, because I am pretty much on my own here.   Had I known WWIII would have occurred I might have pretended to be asleep.

The problem - I have a king size bed I told B that she could use because P was sleeping in the back room and it wasn't big enough for the bed.  Of course P, wants the bigger bed and since he had a full size bed at Dad's house he doesn't want a smaller bed.  I get that and know that my e still hasn't bought B a new bed so since she has a new bed with me I thought P could get a full size bed at my house.

This started a huge argument because me ex couldn't understand why I needed another bed here.  So I gave up and said I would find one on my own, not to worry and let's change the conversation so we don't get into a fight.  (I could feel it building up in me.)  Then he started yelling at me about money, I overdrew my account (A child figured out a password and things were purchased, and they got into a lot of trouble.) I knew where this was going.

We have two joint bank accounts.  One he calls his side and the other he calls my side.  I have bank cards in my name for both accounts.  He wants me to give him the one for the account that he calls "his side".  It has my name on it and it is a joint account so I said I was keeping it.  I used it accidentally once and quickly transferred money to "his side" so no bouncing would happen.  Since then he has been almost harassing me to give him the card.

This morning though he went a step too far.  He told me that he would not pick up the kids for school in the mornings anymore, forcing me to move them into a new school district mid-year, if I didn't give him my bank card.  The only reason I agreed to wait until the summer to file for divorce was to keep the kids in their current school district for the rest of the year.  I am going to be the custodial parent so they would have to go to the district that I live in.

To be safe I called the school district I live in now to start the process and get the paperwork filled out.  I have documents to get copied and statements to be notarized.  And the day is still early it is only 10:30 am at this point now and I am at work teaching.

I love my job, today though was trying.  Maybe it was because their music class and lunch were both before noon and the afternoon seemed to go on forever?  I was so tired at the end of the day and just wanted to go home.  Yikes I almost forgot to pick up the cat from the vets.  She was spayed yesterday and luckily the vet was on the way home.  I go in to pick up Oreo and I can't find the check.  They won't let me pick her up without paying.  I have just enough time to go home get a check and come back before they close.  Now I am on a mission.

I make good time getting home and turn the last corner of the back way to the house and am greeted

with a road closed sign.  My street is closed?  What?  Why?  Oh, good I can get around the sign and the road looks clear.  At the corner (almost next to my house) I see flashing lights and construction equipment.  I flashback to the morning and recall the gas company marking pipes.   Is something wrong with the gas?  Do we need to evacuate?

I pull in the driveway and none of the workers run over to me and tell me to get out of the area.  They do notice me and seem okay with my presence so I am a bit relieved.  Dad is okay and I explain about the check and I have to go back to get Oreo and he understands.  Back to the vet's office I go, I go around the construction vehicles to see what is going on.  Again they are not concerned by my obvious rubbernecking and watch me as I access the situation.

My street is blocked of from the major intersection one block down on  either side of the intersection.  So two full blocks are "closed".  The major street is double blocked.  Two sets of roadblocks are set up a block apart to really make sure the road is closed.  Plus the construction vehicles and trucks are placed across the intersection so there is no possible way to go through.  Now I am more concerned and I just left my partially blind, partially deaf, father who can't walk well and has dementia home alone just houses away from whatever is happening.

My brother calls and I tell him about it.  He calls the police and finds out that it is a water main break.  Okay, dad is safe, he might be thirsty but he is safe.  Back to the cat.  As I got into the car to go back to the vet's office I found the check on the car floor.  I had it all along and just didn't see it.  I picked up Oreo and it is almost 5 pm.  I still have to get Dad to see Mom, make dinner, get the kids oh and my aunt is coming into town tonight and I need to get ready for her.

Finally back home, I notice that Dad is a bit out of sorts.  At first I think it is because I have been gone all day and he was grumpy.  He yells and tells me that he wants water (ah, water main break.  They must have shut the water off and he couldn't get anything to drink.) Then he holds up a cup and asks me what is in it.  I look and smell it, it is Coca-Cola.  Dad has diabetes and the last thing he needs is a drink filled with sugar (okay it is the last thing I need too, but a girl has to have some vices!)  I look and the bottle of pop I bough last night is half gone!  I test his blood sugar level and it is high.

He gets extra insulin and doesn't want to visit Mom so I go.  I think I will visit for a short time and get home to make Dad dinner and get to work getting ready for my aunt.  I was wrong.

Very rarely do I go visit Mom without Dad.  When I do I walk the halls faster because it is just me.  I turn the corner and enter Mom's room.  She is delighted to see me and holds her hands out in anticipation.  I have no idea why.  I notice that she has a stunning new haircut but have no idea what she expected me to bring her.

Oh no!  She has been looking forward to a spaghetti dinner from a local American Legion Post.  I forgot all about it and I see that she is disappointed.  I feel awful and I ask the dreaded question.  "Do you want me to go get it for you now?"  She nods and apologize, briefly explain my day so far and meekly walk out of the building.  It is 6 pm.

Where Mom is, is not close to where the spaghetti is.  However my children are on the way so I swing by and pick them up.  I manage to get to the post five minutes before they stop serving the spaghetti and back into the car we go.  The kids are thirsty and Burger King is next-door so I order three small drinks.  When did small become a large?  we could have swum in the amount of beverage we received.

I get on the highway and I think I know how to get back to where Mom is.  It is a different route than I usually take, but I just took the route to where I was, how hard could it be to back track.  I am familiar with the area and very rarely get lost.  Today was one of those times.  I didn't really get lost, I just couldn't get to where I needed to be.  I knew where I was the whole time.

After ending up on another expressway and back all the way from downtown to the science museum and back again I finally got back to Mom's.  We get out of the car, well B and I got out of the car.  Somehow I managed to lock P in the minivan.  Of course I did, nothing is going right today!

It is almost 8 pm when Mom finally get's her spaghetti dinner.  I have to get the kids home, they need to do their homework, I need to get Dad dinner...  OMG Dad I forgot about Dad, it is 8 pm and her goes to bed at 8 pm.

Somehow I managed to get home in just fifteen minutes.  It is the first thing today that has gone smoothly.  Dad is so relieved that we are okay that he isn't upset that we were gone so long.  I give him his meds and off to bed he goes.  On the way upstairs he asks me to get him some pop tomorrow because the pop we have at home tastes horrible.  Of course it did, because he is used to diet and drank my regular, sugar filled pop.

The kids go to bed, Dad is in bed it is 9 pm and I think my day is done.  Wrong!  My son hurts himself and reacts like someone chopped off his arm.   He is screaming, I am yelling and overwhelmed and Dad comes downstairs.  It is too loud.  Finally he goes back up, P wants to snuggle and he calms down.  I had to tickle him to break him out of the doldrums.  Sometimes a tickle is the best medicine.

I manage to crawl up to bed around 11:00 pm and my aunt arrives around 11:45 pm.  The day is almost over and my body is ready to collapse.  My brain however has hamsters running on the wheel and won't stop.  It doesn't help that I know my morning and afternoon tomorrow are booked solid.

What does help is that I have a date tomorrow.  He is 6'5" and I am 5'1" so it should be interesting.  I am doing the online dating thing.  I am being safe and meeting him for the first time in a nice public place in the middle of the afternoon.  I am nervous, it has been almost 20 years since I dated and I never really dated before my ex.  Wish me luck!