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The Chronicles of Pern: First Fall

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Monday, November 14, 2011

He's Back to His Usual Ways

I knew it was too good to be true, my worse half has been so much nicer these last few weeks. I was suspicious and knew it wouldn't last. This weekend the other shoe fell. He has become the Ogre that I am used to. Sadly it feels normal for him to be a jerk and for me to avoid him. I really didn't trust the nicer version of him.

He again is measuring my worth on how clean the house is. It a weakness of mine and I really try to keep the clutter picked up. That is not good enough, he wants the house to be spotless and so does his mother. He is upset that I have things in my room stored in bins. They are my teaching supplies, I am not getting rid of them. They are organized in labeled bins and are not in the way of anything. Still he wants them gone.

He is changing jobs and has been home for three days, the same three days as a long weekend for the kids. Add to that the fact that he is no longer trying to be nice to me (his words) means this has been a long weekend for Mommy too. He did actually tell me today that he has been trying to be nice to me these last few weeks and it wasn't working. How do I get him to understand that it will take years not weeks of him being nice to me for me to even begin to trust him again? Years I am not going to be investing.

He is upset because he thinks I am planning on leaving him. What gave him that idea? Oh I bet it was when I told him I was, maybe it was when I told the kids that as soon as Mommy finds another house we (the kids and I) would be moving. He was right there when I said that and he was part of the conversation. Now he is actually getting mad at me because I am going to leave him.

The only good thing to happen this weekend was the dreams I had last night. Mike Rowe was in them and I have to say that I will clean him any day. The dreams were wonderful and definitely cheered me up some. He can visit me in my dreams any night, during the day too. Hmmmmm, I wonder how many showers he takes? I bet he shows up tonight, he is happily on my mind!

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