Autumn is Lonely Without Her this Year

I have always loved the season of autumn.  The colors, the smells, the cooler temperatures and the sounds.  But This year, the first autumn without my mother.  I drove home from the mountains of Pennsylvania and the trees were all changing and beautiful.  When the wind blew you could see the leaves blowing around in the wind following the patters and flow.  I was driving home and about to turn on my street so excited to tell mom about it and show her the photo and then my heart sank because she wasn't there.  She would never see an autumn leaf, she would never see them blowing in the wind again and she would never jump into a leaf pile with B and P again.

In the village we live in, I know it sounds so quaint but I can see the city from my bedroom window so it is rather urban, not all the streets run straight.  Some streets wind and turn and may start at one street but have no real outlet.  Typically these are the more wealthier homes.  No joke I was riding my bicycle down one of the streets and a woman opened her front door.  Out waddled a mama duck and all her ducklings flowing her behind her.  There houses where were we wanted to trick or treat because they would often hand out full size candy bars.

My father is like me he wants to go from point A to point B and get there the fastest way possible.  A straight line was his favorite.  My mother however was led by beauty and by sights and sounds.  If she was driving we would always go down theses streets that were windy and meandered to the next busy street.  Her excuse was she had to see one tree.  I have to admit it was a beautiful tree and when autumn came its colors were spectacular,  She would often stop the car and just sit there and watch the tree.  Sometimes she would find a particularly beautiful leaf that she just had to have.

Now that mom has gone I find myself driving home that same way.  I can't remember which tree was her favorite, but I stop and spend some time with them and remember ow aggravated I was because I wanted to get home to watch TV.  now I just want to sit there and connect with my mother through our love of autumn leaves.

I am Autumn Crow.  Autumn is my favorite season and the Crow is my favorite bird.  My mother loved owls.  I am getting a tribute tattoo designed for her for might shoulder.  I want an owl, a crow and autumn leaves.  If anyone wants to try to design it for me I would love to see your artwork.

We bonded over autumn and treasure our birds.  I miss my mom and I wish she could have seen the autumn views I saw this year.  I love you Mommy and I know you are always with me.