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Sunday, October 24, 2010

What I Found in the Car

Last night we had a fight and my husband stayed out all night. He thought I had kicked him out. In truth I did ask him to leave, but it was so we could cool down. I discovered he was gone all night when my daughter woke up from a bad dream. But do I really care anymore?

I decided to have a talk with him today. He is more often than not, grumpy, moody, and withdrawn from all of us. He will focus on hockey, but not what is happening around him. When he does interact with us, it mostly is because he is mad. He will yell or raise his voice with out any warning sometimes. He swears and calls me horrible names. Names that if his sister's fiance called her he would be furious.

So I discussed it with him and it really boiled down to he is worried about money. To the point that he is almost obsessing over it. Because I am not as worried as he is he sees that as a weakness. so we talked and we argued a little, but it was productive I thought. Well, that was until I went to the store.

I went to one of the stores that makes you put a quarter in the shopping cart to use it. And all the change in the car had vanished. So I started going through the car and I found a condom. Yes a condom. We don't use them so I can think of no reason for one to be in my car that is legitimate. I am not stupid I know what it is there for.

I have caught him writing love letters to another woman, I caught him using Craigslist to try to find someone else to have sex with and now I find a condom in our car. Why do I keep giving him chances?

When I got home I sent the kids upstairs to watch TV and closed the door. I asked my husband if there was anything in the car he didn't want me to find. No nothing he says. So I show him the condom. He said that he bought it because he thought I kicked him out of the house. Really, that was not even a full day ago.

I told him that there are no more chances. He needs to focus on the family and his behavior. He has to stop spitting, throwing things, swearing in front of the kids, calling me names, and stop the sexcapades. If they don't stop he has to move. I am not uprooting the kids because of his poor decisions. I don't care who the landlord is. I am almost to the point where I can start earning money. I get my degree in the beginning of January.

I don't trust him and I don't think he can change. I hope he can, but I have serious doubts. Come 2011 I may be a single mom and that scares me.

1 comment:

  1. Laura,

    (((HUGS))) I can not put into words what I truly want to say from my heart. You have been a great wife to him. YOU deserve so much more than he is willing to offer. I have been a single mom and it is HARD, but you can and will do it. Because you have to. Believe in your ability to take care of yourself and your precious children. I will hold you in my prayers.