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Monday, January 23, 2012

Anxiety and the "Big" City

Gratitude Day Project 56 (for as long as I can) I'm going to post at least three things I am grateful for. Join me!; 1) That I found all the groceries I needed even though I shopped at a time I usually avoid. 2) That I got an extra five minutes this morning before I had to wake up. 3) That my daughter gives me lots of hugs!!!

There was an hour before my daughter's bedtime and time for my son to do his homework. Tonight he had one worksheet and Mr. Myers Math timed subtraction test to do. If he took a half hour to do this I thought it would have been too long. I was wrong. Meanwhile I turned tv off so he could do his homework and needed to find something for my daughter to do. Then I remembered the paper city I had downloaded a while ago. I had cardstock to print it on and we had something to do.

Maybe it was watching his sister do something fun, though he should have been doing his homework. He started fooling around. Sunday night is never a goodtime to annoy Mommy, but a Sunday night after Daddy has been working all weekend and having to go to the grocery store when it was full of people (I love to grocery shop Sunday night when the store is empty) and after an afternoon of them annoying me is even worse. Please I asked him, please do your homework!!!

An hour passed and he finally finished the worksheet. It took him maybe three minutes to do once he sat down to do it. He had a break, though he didn't deserve it and he played with B decorating and setting up the paper city. It was a seriously cool design. (The link for it is in the title of this) Just print, color and fold and you have a city that you can set up and play with. There were people, cars, buildings and fun landmarks too. I let him have some fun then back to his homework he went. He only had three minutes left. That was it, of course that didn't happen.

I shouldn't have let him play. He just had so little homework and the city was something he was interested in. Of course he went from his usual bouncy behavior to uber hysterical in less than a minute. This has been his pattern lately and why he is going to see his pediatrician this week. It concerns me, as it is such a strong behavior change for him. Plus it is new and I don't know how to react to it yet. I try not to get mad, but it is so easy to just fall into that pattern.

I can't snap, B needs to go to bed. I can't snap, he needs a Mommy that can handle his mood swings. I should be able to adjust. He is screaming and telling me that I am mean because I want him to do his homework and how he hates me (to which I always reply with that I love him). It is painful to hear and watch so I ask him to take his bath hoping that will help him calm down. He needed a bath anyway tonight.

He is still screaming, but he is calming down as the water fills the tub. Water always has a calming effect on him. B and I finish playing with the city. She keeps setting up all the pices and then rearranging them. Then off the board they go and back again in another arrangement. We put them away when it is story time and oddly enough the book she picked tonight was about how a house is built. We started the book with the blueprints and finished with the family moving in. Hugs and kisses and off to bed she went.

He has been in the bath for a long time and now I need him to get out. It is bedtime and he still has part of homework to finish. He comes out of the tub all smiles and bouncing. Everything is honky dory until I mention he has to finish his homework. Immedietly he starts throwing things, ripping papers and screaming. This is such a surprise beause on Friday he recieved praise from his teacher for his vast improvement in writing. He was so proud of himself. He knew he did a good job and was so happy about it. He even had me email his teacher on Thursday night when he finished his assignment because he was so excited about his work. How did I go from happy to do his homework to the screaming wild child I saw before me? Friday seems a long way off and then I don't even know if his doctor will have any answers.

By the time he finished his homework he had no voice left, I was in tears and my stomach was in knots. I was actually feeling sick from the anxiety I was feeling, I can't imagine how he had to be feeling. We had a snuggle and talked about what happened. He appologized and went off to bed.

The stress of making sure he does his homework is getting to be too much. D very rarely involves himself with homework. Usually that is okay with me because honestly he usually either doesn't understand what they are doing or he just gives them the answers so they can finish it as fast as possible. We will get through this, we always do. it is just the adjustment period that really gets to me and him. Is it the asperger's or is it just him being 9, turning 10 and being stubborn? Do they still calgon?

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