I Won't Allow It!

Looking back I should have known.  Wait, I think I did know and just didn't want to.  There was no passion.  He was always happy to see me.  Still, after not seeing me for a month he barely kissed me. Our kisses were always kisses of a couple who were together so long they were comfortable.  No passion, just comfort.

I should have listened to myself.  I wanted to check my bank account.  We were fighting and then he would beg me for another chance.  I should have listened to myself and told him to get out mid December.  Those two extra weeks I could have stopped.  Why didn't I listen to myself?

In the last week I have worked so hard to make sure he would be caught and I did it.  I made sure he was arrested.  He tried to hurt me and I stood up to him and didn't let him.  Still I am near the edge.  I need to make sure I move away from this spot.  

I can feel that it would be so easy to fall into that pit and let him win.  He thought I was weak and he thought he could use me.  No!  I won't allow it and be warned if someone tries to control me, use me, or crush me again.  I won't allow it.  It would be easy to fall into my old patterns.  But I have worked so hard and I won't allow it!