Sunday, April 17, 2011
Last night we went to a acrosse game. I didn't want to go. I find more and more that I don't like leaving the house. Is it because I know when we go out as a family that my husband will snap about something and the fun will be gone? I don't know, but I do know that I have to force myself to walk through our door into the world.
The evening started well. As usual we got refreshments at the stadium, My daughter and I got Italian Sausage while my son devoured a slice of pizza. My husband chose chicken fingers. Then he bought the kids ice cream and popcorn and of course we all had drinks. The game was fun to watch. He calls it "Kill the guy with the ball" and that is an apt description. Seriously it is okay to hit the player in the head with a lacrosse stick if they have the ball. This is a sport that I have no plans of participating in.
Of course my daughter gets bored early but she entertained herself by dancing to the music they played during the game. I wish they played music during other sports. It does make watching them more bearable. We also happened to be sitting in front of protective rails. To keep us from falling down two steps. This entertained both children as they were like monkey bars. They climbed on them like we were at a playground.
When the game was almost over my daughter and I went to the store in the lobby so we could avoid the crowds. Walking among so many people makes me anxius and keeping track of a little girl in that mass of people is a nightmare. Plus getting on the escalator with so many people around and trying to get on the same escalator terrifies me.
So we go down and look for souveniers. That is a normal ritual, we always get the kids something from the store. Little did I know this was the beginning of a husband flip out that has never been this bad before. It was the calm before the storm, and a pink pare of pajama pants woud be the trigger.
I know to discuss money with him. I also know about how much we spend on souveniers from the store almost everytime. The price of the pants was within the usual range. She like the pants so much that she picked them over the pink teddy bear wearing a hockey jersey. If you know my daughter pink fuzzy things are her thing. For her to put back a pink fuzzy item for a pair of pajama pants was a huge indicator for how much she loved them.
Now we had been in the store for a while and I was getting impatient. The crowds were coming down stairs so I was pretty sure the game ended. People were talking like the gme ended, our team lost by the way. It wasn't even close. I was looking for him and my daugher was getting bored.
A child bored in a store is never a good thing. In department stores or supermarkets I can contain them in a cart if I have to. But I couldn't do that here, there were no shopping carts. Just many racks of clothes and various souveniers as well as a growing crowd of people that can offer many hiding places for a small child. Yikes, where was he.
Finally I see him coming. My son runs up to me and gives me a huge hug. My husband slowly strolls into the store and barly acknowledges my prescense. I try to show him the pants and believing this was like all other trips to the arena said that she wanted the pants. He didn't look at them and loudly said "no" completly brushing us off. I asked what took him so long and he lost it. There was a lacrosse brawl and the game took longet to end people were leaving early because our team was losing so bad and why was I being a nag.
I took a deep breath and went back to the idea of souveniers for the kids. Remember this is something we always do. We don't get to go to the games often. We got these tickets with the enrollment of the children in a kids club for our hockey team. I knew we had set aside money for just this purpose and I asked him to at least look at the pants. My daugher at this point is in tears.
He then gets upset because we spent so much on food (again I knew we had the money set aside) and then he says our children are slefish because they wanted a souvenier. Well if they expect a souvenier at arena events we attend we were the cause of that because in the past we always got the kids something. So I put down the pants and ask him if the pants are too much then lets set a price limit for a souvenier and let the kids pick out somehtin in that range.
I wish i could remember tha words he spoke with his reaction, I believe he called me a cry baby and I didn't want to get in a fight in the middle of the store so I walked out. Of course he anounces loudly that I had beeter leave and go to the car. Deep breath, nice and slow do not turn around and engage I told myself. I went into the lobby to wait assuming that he would have the kids pick out cheaper souveniers.
WRONG!!!! He comes out of the store with the kids. My daugher has the pajama bottoms and my son has a lacrosse stick. Another deep breath and then he loudly says the kids are selfish. He has bought them souveniers in the past and how dare thay think they would beable to get one this time. They are cry babies and now they could have no activites next week (spring break) because they were so selfish.
The kids start to cry and once again he calls all of us cry babies and says I shmoed him into buyng the kids these souviners. It is my fault that he is so upset and now they would be bored all week. No Bounce Magic and no lunces out with mommy. On that note we walk out of the arena to head to the car. I take both kids hands and try to hang back from him. I don't want them to hear the awful things he is saying.
This makes him more upset and he announces loudly that he was going to the car and leaving the three of us behind. Seriously!!! Now I was more than mad. How dare he say such a thing infront of his kids. They both start crying hysterically because they think they are being abandoned by their father.
We get to the car and of course he didn't leave but the kids thought he was going to. He says that he didn't do anything wrong because he never left and his father made him walk home after he was left at hockey practice when he was a child. Nothing I say can get him to understand that he can't do things like that.
The evening is ruined. We drive home pretty much in silence. Sadly things continued at home.
One of the things my daughter did to entertain herself was to hide under an empty section of seats behind us. It was adorable, she was having fun and enjoying herself. Of course she didn't think of what icky stuff could be on the floor of an arena, but I did. So when we got home I asked her to take a bath. Yes it was late and after her bedtime but I couldn't let her go to sleep without washing. He now decides to play "let's challenge everything Mommy does".
He didn't want her to take a bath. He didn't want to read a bedtime to her, he didn't want to turn off the upstairs tv (that he never watches) so she wouldn't get disturbed as she is trying to fall asleep. Our room and her room are next to each other upstairs. To get to our room you have to walk through her room. There also is no door between the two rooms. If someone is in our room while she is going to sleep she fools around and does anything she can to interact with them. I try to explain this to him, but he just saw it a s me trying to control him.
Finally both kids are asleep and I go upstairs to hide in our room while he watches tv downstairs. He slept on the couch and I was okay with that. This week will be challenging. I hope we all survive spring break.