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Saturday, January 25, 2014

How the Underpants Battle Led to New Clothes for Me

I can't remember the last time I bought clothes for myself at a regular store.  I usual went to Salvation Army or Goodwill.  Sometimes I would buy a tank top or a pair of pants, but never outfits.  I have been wearing the same brawl coat for at least 5 years.  It is thin and never had buttons, not even button holes.  The last few winters have been warmer than usual so I just dealt with it.  I made rue to by my kids clothes but not really me.

A few weeks ago I finally bought myself new bras and underwear.  It amazed me how just doing that gave me such pleasure and made me so happy.  I even went back the next week and bought more.  Yes, there was a bit more pep in my step after that.  It is amazing how such a simple thing can make you feel so much better.

Now if you recall I have moved back in with my parents to help take care of them.  My dad can't see much and can't hear well at all.  He also has, what the doctors call, low level dementia.  So living with him can be entertaining sometimes.  Since I have moved in my brother and I have been taking care of the house; laundry, dishes, garbage, vacuuming and anything else that needed to be done.

My father has had two focuses since Mom's head injury, her health and his underpants.  I know those two things are very different and it may seem like there is no link between the two.  But Mom would always make sure he had clean underpants.  To many clean underpants are something we take for granted, i know my children never stop to think about how they always have clean underpants.

Now Mom is in the hospital and Dad can't get into the basement, to do laundry.  He needs a walker to move around and his washer and dryer are in the basement.  S, my brother (I guess I will have to add him to the Who is Who page) has been doing the laundry at my parent's house because I have an irrational fear of the basement.  I am talking panic!  If I have to be down there longer than a few moments my heart rate increases, my breathing becomes rapid, it is a full fight or flight experience.  Usually I choose flight.  So my brother has been doing the laundry.

The first problem is my Dad wants his underpants always washed, not an unreasonable request.  The second problem is he doesn't always put his used underpants where they belong.  I understand that he is not the only male (or female) who has this problem.  But it is like he is hiding Easter Eggs.  So as much as S tried to keep his underpants clean they were slowly disappearing.

Okay there was one other problem S put the underpants in the top drawer.  That is were mom always put them for us and that is where we put them in our houses.  I guess after we moved out underpants migrated to the second drawer and my brother and I were just not aware of the underpants migration.

So Dad was panicking, he was running out of underpants and his underpants drawer was slowly emptying.  For two months my brother and I have been trying to convince Dad that he had underpants and we didn't need to buy more.  But for two months his underpants have been possibly escaping, being hidden or just MIA.

Finally two nights ago Dad handed me cash and insisted that I go to the store and buy him more underpants.  I admitted defeat and said that I would go.  But it was 9 PM so I did say I wasn't going that night he would have to wait until after I get out of work the next day.

My ex refused to wear underpants.  So I never had to buy them for him.  Wow there are so many choices; boxers, briefs, hybrids, some that look like ladies panties, some with long legs and some I just can't describe.  The colors amazed me.  I expected the basic white and black and of course grey, but pinks, bright blues, purples, and pastels were a little bit of a shock.  I drew the line at the pink, purple and teal striped ones.  I just couldn't buy them for my dad.  With my luck he would get his vision back and scream at me, lol!  My dad is just not a pink, purple and teal striped kind of person.

I know I said this lead to me buying new outfits for myself, so fat I have only talked about underpants.  Well, to get to the men's underwear department of Target I had to go past the Woman's department.  First I noticed that once again the maternity department had moved into the usual Woman's department space.

Then I saw it, the glorious sign - CLEARANCE AT LEAST 50% OFF!  One long row of Woman's clothes were marked down.  Since I had to go past it I took a look and found some great outfits.
I bought; tops, pants, a suit coat and a winter coat.  A warm winter pea coat, why are they called pea coats?  It has buttons and a liner and most importantly it has buttons!  Did I mention that it has buttons?  I spent more than I wanted to, but at least they were all on clearance, right?

I can't wait to go to work in my nice spiffy new clothes.  Who knew that a battle over underpants could lead to a new coat and wardrobe for me.  Maybe I'll just go buy him underpants more often.

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