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Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Why I Moved Back Home With my Parents

I said I would never move back home with my parents.  I have two children and the older they get the more they really enjoy it when my children go home.  Oh they love them, no doubt about that, but they also love quiet.  So I never even considered moving home when I wanted to leave my husband.  It just wasn't an option.  My old bedroom and my brother's have become their rooms and there are no extra beds in the house.  Even the sofa bed doesn't have a mattress.

That was before November 20th, 2013.  That was before the phone call from a paramedic telling me that my mom was unconscious in a store parking lot and dad was alone in the minivan that he couldn't drive.  That was before Mom almost died three times in four weeks.

This has happened to my parents since the week before Thanksgiving.
1. Mom was knocked over by the wind. She ended up with two brain bleeds and was in a coma - doctors had us prepared for the worst.

(This is when my ex decided that he should take up the invitation from a woman he never met to come to Saskatchewan, Canada to watch their version of the Super Bowl, Sorry your mom is in a coma but I am leaving the country for fun. You watch the kids and work and take care of your family without me is what he basically told me.)
2. Mom wakes up and recovers so well that she is home with in a week just before Thanksgiving.
3. Mom shows signs of infection cDiff back to the ER and home but on antibiotics.
4. The day the antibiotics are finished. But Mom's blood sugar is at an 800 back to the hospital she goes.
5. Thursday night my father discovers that he can no longer see.
6. My brother has to lead my father around the house so he knows where he is.
7. Friday Mom is finally stable to come home (again). I have to be taught to give her insulin injections and am responsible for her diabetes management.
8. Mom is home by 7:30 pm on Friday and I go to the grocery store to get things she needs. 
9. I take 25 minutes to visit high school classmates and pick up my kids to spend the night at my parents house. 
10. I am back by 9:30 and Dad is telling me that this is not his house and where is he.
11. My brother and his wife come from work and their house to help convince dad, who is more confused by the minute to go to the hospital.
12. My brother calls 911 (resulting in my father disowning him) and within minutes the para medics are there.
13. My father doesn't believe they are there to help him and swears at them and resists all attempts of help.
14. The police come and Dad doesn't believe them either.
15. Because he is in an altered mental state my mother makes the decision that they need to take him to the hospital, he resists.
16. He pulls a knife on the paramedics (my kids are there and even thought I am trying to shield them as much as possible this is witnessed by them). Somehow the police officer knocks the knife from his hand while a paramedic sheds our view because now we are freaking out.
17. Dad is restrained and forced onto the stretcher. He is screaming and obviously in distress.
18. He is taken to the VA hospital around 11 pm. That is only 4 hours between one parent coming home from the hospital and the other going in.
19. My mom is not strong enough to go to the VA and my father refuses to see my brother so I have to goto the hospital. My kids are freaking out and want to go home. Their Dad is at work.
20. My husband almost refuses to leave work to pick up his hysterical children and doesn't understand why I need to go to the hospital.
21. At the ER my dad is compliant and docile. He claims he was trying to clean his nails with the knife.
22. He talks to me about the grecian urns and statues around the room and how large his (tiny) room is. He counts the many beds for me, his is the only bed in the room.
23. He is admitted.
24. I officially move back into my parents house.
25 I visit the next day and he tells me I can't stay because he has leprosy. I tell him that I am in a leprosy proof chair so it is okay that I stay.

26. I visit on Sunday and he tells me about his breakfast with "THE Santa" he also gleefully tells me that he isn't wearing any underwear.

27. Dad is refusing to eat.
28. Tuesday, I manage to get mom to her endocrinologist appointment and he changes her insulin dosages to one my brother and I think is more realistic for her.
29. Mom finally gets to visit Dad at the VA, he is so happy to see her and he finally eats a little and drinks a nutritional shake.
30. This morning Mom's toe was bothering her and she makes an appointment with her podiatrist.
31. I come home from work and her sock is adhered to her toe, she is in a lot of pain and can't walk.
32. She doesn't want to go to the ER, but allows me to call the paramedics.
33. The paramedics and Police ask how dad is doing, they remember him.
34. They see how swollen her leg is and want to bring her in to the ER.
35. Dad calls home hoping we will come pick him up (he doesn't always know that he is in the hospital) while the paramedics are there.
35. I convince dad to put someone else on the phone so I can let them know what is happening, luckily he gives the phone to someone who works there.
36. I have to bring my kids with me to the ER because Dennis wants to go back to sleep for his overnight shift.
37. Kids are not allowed in the ER so luckily a friend from work offers to sit with them.
38. Mom has a blood clot in her leg almost from her hip to her ankle. Also an infected toe, possibly from lack of circulation.
39. One doctor says she is going to be admitted. She needs IV antibiotics and blood thinners.
40. Another doctor says maybe not, I admit that I pushed for her to be admitted. She can't walk and is at risk for falling. She could bleed out if she falls.
41. Mom is admitted to Kenmore Mercy for the third time in four weeks.
42. Dad came home.
43. We still don't know when Mom will come home, but it will take at least 6 months for the blood clot to dissolve.

44. Mom is moved to a Nursing Home/rehab center, the same one my 96 year old Grandmother is at.

45. Mom develops a half dollar size blister on the top of her foot, the same foot with the infected toe, the same leg that has the blood clot.

Here is the part I didn't expect. I am happy. I am more comfortable away from my ex. Even with all of the above I am at peace and happy! People ask how I am holding up because it is unreal what our family has gone through recently, but I am fine (mostly). Sure there are times that it hits me and a little thing like losing my keys can overwhelm me. But overall this has been such a positive experience for me. Hopefully it stays that way!

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