Tuesday, January 14, 2014
So Many Changes
Last night was a bad night. Dad was up and walking around upstairs. It starts with the click clack sound of his walker as he shuffles along. Then he gets stuck and has no idea where he is. He doesn't believe that he is in his own house and he says he wants to go home. It just breaks my heart. I try to tell him that this is his house and he doesn't believe me.
He was like that all night and I only managed to sleep in short bursts. Oh I was tired in the morning. Luckily I have a great brother who took over for me in the morning so I could sleep. Sleep glorious sleep! Oh how I love to sleep! The came the phone call. And finally someone listened to us..
Mom was intubated when she was in her coma. Since she was extubated she has been coughing and wheezing. Her breathing has been so labored. Her pulse ox has been normal and even though we kept bringing it up we were told it is normal, she needs to see a specialist ( never mind she has been in the hospital so much that we never could get her to see one), or maybe it is asthma.
Yesterday it was worse and today the nursing facility that has been giving her rehab sent her to the ER because her breathing was much worse. The phone call let us know that she was being moved. At the ER they found an obstruction in her trachea. Seriously, her lungs have been x-rayed so many times and no one looked at her throat. Come on, the three basics are ABC, AIRWAY, BBREATHING and circulation.
Dad had a hard time at the hospital. He didn't really understand what was going on and even when he was next to Mom and her bed, he would ask us when Mom would get a bed. It was so frustrating! Poor Mom was having such a hard time breathing that they gave her a Xanax. My SIL took Dad to get dinner and I sat next to Mom listening to her Darth Vadar breathing.
Now it is night, Dad once again seems lost. He called me his jailer because I wanted him to stay in bed and sleep so I could. He had a moment when I haned him his blanket where he seemed very aware. He hugged his blanket and pillows declaring them his. He let me tuck him in and kiss him good night.
But just now he woke up and had no idea where he is. I talked him into the bathroom and back to his bed, but he refused to believe me when I told him that this was his house.
I put myself in his shoes. He can't see much, basically light ang bright colors. He is having trouble hearing, of course if he would put his hearing aids in that could improve. Mom has been in and out of the hospital too often in the last two months and now his daughter and her two children have moved back into his house.
So many changes and his body is giving up on him. Maybe the world in his head is better? Tomorrow I work a full day. I hope he will be able to be alone for a couple hours. I hope I won't feel guilty for going to work.