I'm Doing What Now? Am I Crazy? (That is a rhetorical question!)

     I am doing something I haven't had the courage to do in over ten years.  I am trying to get off my depression meds.  I originally was put on Effexor for Postpartum Depression six weeks after my daughter was born.  She is ten and a half now.  In that time, my depression got worse, my meds changed, my husband cheated on me, emotionally abused me and worse.

     Now I am divorced, I found a job that I love, and I am in a relationship that is going well.  I'm happy!  I can honestly say overall I am happy.  Sure at the moment I have no money, I actually have negative money.  That sucks but it isn't crippling.  I am having medical issues, hopefully it won't end up as cancer.  As of now it is just abnormal cells and bleeding.  Again it sucks, but I am still happy.

     So I went to my doctor and I got my dosage of Cymbalta reduced.  Hopefully I can start skipping doses in a few weeks and eventually not take them at all.   I have to see the doctor more, but hey I have medical issues anyway and I actually like my doctor.

      The only drawback is the side effects.  When I don't take my
meds, and that has happened occasionally, my brain feels mushy.  That is an odd description and the only way I can explain it is to imagine your brain is made of Play-Doh.  Then think about how it would feel to have someone slowly massage and squish it.  I'm not real dizzy, but it almost a dizzy feeling.  Honestly what I am looking for the most in never feeling that again!

     Only I would pick the time in my life when I have no money, going through a medical scare, and my boyfriend living an hour and a half a way so I hardly see him, to ween myself off depression meds.  I guess I really will know if I still suffer from depression or have learned and used skills to be free of it.


      Summer is half over so if I want to be off it by the time work starts again I have to do this now.  So wish me luck.  I need it.  And if you happen to know a millionaire looking for a girlfriend send them my way.  I can always hire my boyfriend as a poorboy.  I am sure he would understand.  Hopefully we will be in the Florida, Keys as well.  It never hurts to have a dream, lol!

Don't Protect the Abuser

Right now there is something amazing going on.  A family that has been on tv in a series and a few specials for their religious beliefs has been thrown into a scandal.  People are feuding over it.  Friendships are being tested.  Lines are being drawn.  It seems that the eldest son admitted to molesting five female children when he was a teenager.  He publicly admitted it.  He was not arrested.  He stepped down form his family centered job and apologized to the world.

Is that enough?  I don't think so.  He may be in the spotlight now and this may be the topic we are debating now.  But what about next month, next year or the next decade?  Can what happen help keep possible future victims safe?  What if his first victim spoke up and the family didn't try to hide it.  Enough reports are coming to light that seem to say the family did something to keep this from going to prosecution.  Would his future victims have been saved?  I have no idea.

But maybe we can learn something from this.  STOP PROTECTING THE ABUSER.  I did it with my ex.  I did it with my father.  I won't do it again.  So join me.  Don't protect the abuser.  Yes, terrible things happened to the victim.  But it wasn't their fault.  It was something done to them.  Don't shelter the abuser because you want to protect the victim.  If you are a victim stand up for your self.  I wish I did.  I don't know what would have changed had I left earlier than I did.  It helped when I knew I had people to help me stand up for myself.  It helped knowing people were behind me and they knew I was a victim.

If you are being abused, sexually, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially or anyway don't
protect your abuser let others know.  Please if you know someone is being abused offer to help them, REPORT them to the police or any authorities.  We need to take a stand against abuse.  We have to do it now!  No one deserves to be abused!