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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Final Straw

Today after my husband left for work I sat down at our desktop. As usual it was on my husband's settings, I hardly ever use the desktop so that is nothing unusual. He has been getting a lot of new female facebook friends, from the looks of it, they are porn actresses or strippers. Because my kids play facebook games on his profile I will make sure it is child friendly. I checked his messages and found this.

hey u there?
hey whats up??
got time 4 a quicky?
sure lol
i have to be home by 1 45
ok gotta shower
on my way go ahead

Another day

hey there!!!!!!
what's up sweetie!!!
i was wondering, i have had many early days from work when do u leave for work
usually by 5 am
ok darn cause i almost called u at 5 15 am this morning
but if u can drive me to grand island on ur way home i have to be to work by 7 am
i wanted to ask if i took u to work what time can i come over! i see
u can come over anytime as long as i'm at work by 7

Another Day

Him May 19 i was off work mondy nite and tues nite i tried to call cause i wanted to pop by those nights
Her May 19 no shit!!! damn
Him May 19
itried to caal but no one was home you were most likely at truck school
Her May 19 had to quit long story
Him May 19 i see
Her May 19 nothing bad just the way things are
Him May 19 i see
Her May 19 how bout sat. nite
Him May 19 it was a hard schedule
Her May 19 brutal lol
Him May 19 dont know but i think tomorrow nite could work
Her May 19 damn, going out tomorrow
Him May 19 the wife graduates from niagara u saturday she finished school last december
Her May 19 nice!!!!
Him May 19 i need it bad!
Her May 19 lol me too babe me too i need the rough stuff lol
Him May 19 if i eat dinner fast enough ill drop by for a quicky
Her May 19 tonite ?
Him May 19 ya
Her May 19 what time
Him May 19 like 6pm if your available
Her May 19
ok but u have to grab me by the hair and call me whore agreed lmao
Him May 19 but of course!!!!!! WHORE!
Her May 19 niiiiiiice mmmmm i love it gonna take a shower and i'll meet u in the basement
Him May 19 k 77777777777777777
Me 3 minutes ago BUSTED!!! Oh by the way this is his wife!!!

I made a PDF and a JPEG of these conversations and I have them safe and sent to various people. I called him knowing he was working, but he will call me back.

I called my parents and told them I am kicking him out, I told everyone. The more people I tell the more empowered I feel. The more I know that I can do this and stick to my guns.

The hard part was not letting the kids know what was happening. I got teary eyed, but I did not cry. I managed to get them focused on their homework and the bedtime routine. I am so glad that they have school tomorrow. If this had happened yesterday I don;t know how I would have have handled today.

Of course they day wasn't a very good one before this discovery. It is Memorial Day and every year he carries the flag for the Elk Lodge. Every year my children ride on the float and get to be in the parade. This is a highlight for my children and something they look forward to.

They were supposed to be there at 10 am. I got a call from my mom at 9:55 to tell us to bring car seats. (Which we always do because they are in our car and would be used by the kids on the drive to the lodge.) I came downstairs and he is in the shower. The kids are getting their water and are so excited. He then tells me that he doesn't want to go and I should take them.

The Elks are depending on him to carry the flag. Our children are depending on him so they can be in the parade and five minutes before they are supposed to be there he tries to get out of it. Somehow without any real yelling I managed to convince him to take the kids. Of course he called me his new pet name before he left. I am Lazy Fat Ass, isn't that a wonderful thing for a man to call call his wife in front of his children?

He did call me back and tried to deny it. He thought I would believe that it was just a "joke" between them and nothing really happened. I have heard that before and because I wanted to try to save this marriage I let it go.

First when I was working full time, I caught him writing love letters to another woman online. His excise was they would never meet and it was a game to him. Then I had a facebook friend bust him when he emailed a reply to one of her friends looking for a good time.

He wrote:

I am a 42 year old white male in an unhappy marriage too. In the pic i am wearing the gray shirt that says New York. Im 6 feet tall 175 pounds brown hair green eyes. I would love to hook up. We can get a room somewhere cause I cant host either. If interested please reply by e-mail or text me at (his cell phone number) and write BBW in message so I know who you are.

He apologized and said nothing happened. I told him no more sex until he got a clean heath report, He never provided me with one.

Then I found the condom in the car and now this. Really you want to believe nothing happened? No more chances.

I am calling a lawyer in the morning and am considering a restraining order or order of protection to make sure he stays away. I told him to stay with his girlfriend he wasn't sleeping here any more. He hung up the phone after a long pause, no more denials.

His mother owns the house we live in, I know I will have to eventually move out, but I also know that she will give me a chance to find a another place and I won't have to rush.

An uncontested divorce can be finalized in 60 days. Hopefully I can be done with this by the fall and can be settled before school starts. I hate that I have to uproot my children because he was selfish.

The only good thing is that because of all the horrible things he has done to me in the last few years, all the nasty things he has done to me and said to me, all the hitting and spitting I am prepared mentally for this. I have known it was over for a while this just finalized it for me. The final straw and I am done.

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