I dropped her off at her father's house and asked her if she wanted to say goodbye to grandma before we disconnected her. My mom had signed a Do Not Resuscitate order. That took all the stress of having to make the decision off my shoulders. In a pinch my brother could do it, but I was her Health Care Proxy and I knew I had to. She picked me for a reason.
The nurses disconnected everything and we settled in for al on night, Moms sister came to spend time with us. My brother's wife and oldest son were there. Everyone had someone to comfort them and I was all alone. My ex picked up our daughter and barely acknowledged my pain. Is it selfish to have wanted someone with me to hold me while I watched my mother die?
She didn't go that night, nor the next. In fact it wasn't until she was moved into a private room and we had a hissy fit when we discovered the nurses put her on oxygen despite the fact we specifically said she wasn't to be put on oxygen. She hated being connected to oxygen and the possibility of her passing while connected to it was too much for us.
That night in the hospital we reminisced on how she started her life. When my grandmother was pregnant with my mother she was under the impression that she was having one baby. Little did she know that my mother was lurking with Uncle Bill just waiting to be born. When the time came she went to the hospital and the doctor delivered a health baby boy (My Uncle Bill). Job well done the doctor thought one mom and one baby.
Wednesday night April 20, after we had her oxygen removed, I bent down and kissed her cheek. I whispered inner her ear that it was okay, she could go. Not even two hours later than hospital called to let me know she had passed. I called my brother, and then went upstairs to tell my father. That was heart breaking. He wouldn't go back to the hospital. My brother, his wife, my daughter and I all wine to the hospital and said goodbye.
I love you mom and I always will. So many times this year I needed to talk to you and tell you what was happening. I know you have been with me. Blessed be!