My Children Are Giving Back

Today I found out that the SPCA is always looking for donations of stuffed animals. Finally I can encourage the kids to part with some of their stuffed animals and they don't have to be tossed. I was thrilled. The kids stuffies are loved beyond the give away to another boy or girl. I just hated the idea of throwing away all those memories.

I still remember when they got many of these stuffies. I remember how they wouldn't let them go when they were new. The images of sleeping faces with a smile on them while they clung tightly onto their new friends. Oh how they love these stuffed animals.

Even now, sometimes years after they received these wonderful friends they still are overly attached. Many of them are battered and torn. Some are dirtier than I like, even after several washings. I have suggested we go through the piles of stuffies to make room for new fluffy friends and have always been shut down by sad faces and sometimes tears rolling down cheeks.

Each one had some stuffies that no matter how battered they were they just couldn't give away. P saved one from going into the bag because he had "baby memories" of it. B had many that went in the save pile. She is so attached to them that I thought she would never give any away.

So today I talked to them about the SPCA. We go there often to visit with the pets. In the summer we go to the petting farm and we learn about all the different animals they have there. We watch Animal Cops on TV and see all the important work that the SPCA does. It is a charity that my kids can understand and now they can help too.

Well, no sooner had I told them about how they need stuffed animals for the animals looking for a home. First P ran to the kitchen and pulled out a garbage bag from were we keep them. Then B started gathering stuffies. Together they picked almost two full garbage bags of their precious stuffies to give to the SPCA. They talked about how the dogs and cats will be so happy when they get the stuffies. They were having so much fun and I was so proud of them.

So, tomorrow when they get home from school we are taking the bags to the SPCA and hopefully I can encourage them to find some more to join them. It is how my kids are giving back.

Today Was a Good Day

Today was a good day. Earlier in the evening we had a conversation about his school day. I don't know if it is because of his asperger's or him just being a typical child, but I can never get him to tell me about his school day. He shuts down if I point blank ask him about his day. He always answers with "I don't remember". So I use different ways to find out. I use different questions to get him to talk about the day. I might ask "What did you today that you were good at?" or "What did you learn today?". One of my favorites is "Is there anything you want to talk to me about, anything that makes you happy, mad, sad or glad?" We will talk about the days special class, art, music, gym or library.

Today we talked about gym. It is one of his favorite special in school and he was beaming when he was talking to me about it. Now I have heard of my different versions of tag, but this one was new to me. It makes me wonder if it really happened or is it something he made up. He told me they were playing toilet tag. If you got tagged you had to squat and have a hand up like a flusher. He had to stay that way until someone flushed you.

It was terribly funny to watch him explain the game to me. He is so expressive with his hands and facial expressions. If he really gets into talking about a subject he will bounce with excitement. He might even flap his arm's which is our cue that he is so happy and excited about that is happening. He was do all of these when he was talking about toilet tag.

Later we spent some quality time snuggling. Technically it was after bedtime but there is no school tomorrow and I take advantage of these precious times when I can. I was watching The Biggest Loser - where are they now and he couldn't find his teddy bear Bobby Oor. He is very attached to that bear and I knew he was upset that he couldn't find him. So he came into my bedroom and snuggled up to me. Yes, I was a sucker and loved that he was being all cuddly so I let him stay up with me.

He let me hug him while we watched TV. He is usually so ticklish that I can't touch him for any real length of time so I was surprised that I could put my arm around him a hug him for a long time. I was good I fought the urge to tickle him, he has such a cute laugh and the twinkle in his eye when he is laughing is priceless. He doesn't hate it, he usually will find a way to get you to tickle him again. When he has had enough he lets you know.

So here I am about to go to bed myself. I am smiling as I recall the special time with him. Tomorrow (yikes actually today) is Thanksgiving and he will be all wound up. He will run around the circle of rooms at his grandparents house, even though he knows he isn't allowed to do and will get in trouble. He will barely eat anything on his plate so he can play with the fun toys grandma has. He will be loud and be told may times to keep his voice level at 2, an inside voice. The same thing will happen on Friday at his other grandparent's house. When I want to scream at him tomorrow and Friday I will have to remember that there are good times and that today was a good day.

When Their Dreams Come True

This year I can't wait until Christmas. The "secret" gift exchange that I loved is gone, replaced by donations to a charity I have no attachment to. That is no longer something I look forward to. I never get any gifts from my husband, even though I tell him exactly what I would like he never can find anything to buy me and we really don't have much extra money for gifts for us anyway. I know what my parents are giving us, I gave my mom the list. None of this is making Christmas exciting for me this year.

This year I have found the perfect gifts for my children. I have managed to get them nice gifts in past years. I saw the joy of Christmas on their faces but I was never able to get them "THE GIFT". I never could get them the gifts that they wanted. They would ask and we just couldn't get them. This year is different. I don't know how I did it, but when I could afford a large gift, well before Christmas, before they were even asking Santa for this and that and don't forget that over there I managed to pick out what they wanted.

First was P's gift. I had wanted to get him a train table for years now. He has played on them and I saw how much he enjoyed using them. I was looking for one that he could also use for his cars. Well The Christmas Tree Shop had one with in my price range so I bought it. I didn't even consult D and I should have because he isn't as in love with this gift as I am. I have it hidden out of our house so P won't find it. Now That is all P is asking for. He calls it a Car Table, and every chance he gets he asks us for it for Christmas.

For B I bought the Doll House pictured above. My father gave me a doll house when I was a teenager because I loved to collect miniatures. He stayed up many nights building it for me. I think it a parents dream with a daughter to get them a doll house. I saw a four foot high doll house for her to play Barbies in. I knew that was the one. I had it put on Lay A Way at Toys R Us. She saw it while were at the store a few days later and she fell in love with it. Now all she asks for is the doll house that I already bought for her.

I can't wait for Christmas this year because I can't wait to see the look on their faces when they see their gifts on Christmas morning. I can't wait to play cars on P's Car table. I am looking forward to playing Barbies with my daughter in her four foot high doll house. I don't care about any gifts that might be mine. I only want to see their faces when their dreams come true.

I Have Lit a Candle

I had a neighbor once that I just did not get along with. Oh I tried and we were like oil and water. Well, right now she is going through something horrible and I wish I could reach out to her and help her through it. I am afraid to reach out to her, it can go so wrong. So I stay back and know that what she is going through right now is something I don't think I could handle.

I light a candle for her and her family tonight knowing she will probably never know I did this. You may not know who she is, but please send out as much positive energy you can to her, it will find her. We may have not gotten along when we were neighbors, and I am pretty sure we still don't but she is still human, a wife and mother and needs all the support she can get right now for her and her family.

Chocolate After Bedtime

Sunday bedtime is always an adventure. After two days of later bedtimes the return to bedtime at eight can be the cause of tension between the kids and I. Tonight was another night of "I don't wanna go to bed now" from P and B. I finally read to B, and P read to both of us. Snacks were eaten. I tucked each one in after I asked our night time question. "Is there anything you want to talk about, anything that makes you happy, mad, sad or glad." Every night I get some fun answers to that one.

Well, tonight we went through it all. I finally turn the TV on to watch my shows that I don't watch while they are awake. I am on my bed because the shows are DVRed on the bedroom Tv and The kids rooms are right next to my open door. The hall light is off and I am watching the Amazing Race. All of a sudden I see movement. I see my son walking back to his room from the kitchen. He knows he is busted so he tries to sneak into the bathroom. I guess he was going to say that is why he is out of bed.

Uhm, no I see that he is clearly coming out of the kitchen and he has that look on his face. All parents know the look. It is the smile they use that is so darn cute to try to save them from being yelled at because they know they did something wrong and maybe you won't be able to figure it out. Yes, that is the look on his face, as he gets closer I see dirt on his face. Now I smell chocolate. I put two and two together and I know he was eating hot chocolate mix.

Next I don't even have to look, but I know there is chocolate on the floor in the kitchen. Is there a mess in the kitchen and I love the answer he gave me. "No, well not a big one. Well, it isn't on the stove, or the counter. I need a broom mommy!!" Finally the mess is clean and now it is almost 10 pm at night and I look at my son, covered on chocolate powder and the sad conclusion is he needs a bath.

So I don't know how he managed to sneak past me originally, but I might have to rethink the hall light being off at bedtime. I now have found a new hopefully well hidden spot for the hot chocolate mix and hopefully this will be the last chocolate at bedtime adventure for a while.

My Wild Things Birthday

This weekend I turned 42. Not a milestone but I can't help but notice that I am creeping towards 50. So how did I celebrate growing older? I went to Build A Bear and my family bought me a teddy Bear. My daughter was in charge of stuffing the bear and picked out just the right heart to put inside. Both kids also picked out sounds to add to their bears, Bobby Ore and Pink A Dot. I love going into Buld A bear. Even all grown up I can't help but love a fluffy soft squishy stuffed animal.

On Saturday we went to watch "Where the Wild Things Are". I am a huge fan of the book and now I am a huge fan of the movie. I was worried about how they would stretch it into a movie. They added a nice storyline to the movie. We also got some backstory to Max. We went to a Sensory Friendly showing of the movie so the lights were up and the audience could make noise and walk around. This is such a nice way to watch movies with children. It really gives them the freedom they need to enjoy a movie.

The kids had a parade going around the theater while the movie was playing. I watched my children meet other children and mingle with them. They would sit down in different parts of the theater to see how the movie looked from that location. While doing all this they were following the movie and we had a great conversation about it.

Before we went to the movie we read the book and made predictions of what would happen in the movie. Some of what my kids thought would happen did happen in the movie and we talked about that on the way home. We also talked about what the Wild Things did when Max left. It is fun listening to them use their imaginations. They really got a lot out of the movie.

I also managed to take a nap on Saturday. I woke up to a beautifully decorated Birthday cake and my family sang "Happy Birthday" to me. I cut the cake and B took the knife out since she has the next birthday in my family. My parents called to wish me a happy birthday and said they would buy me the DVD of "Where the Wild Things Are" when it is released.

So I guess I celebrated my growing older with a journey back to my youth. It was a wonderful birthday and I hope the year will be as good if not better.

Terror and Dread: My Visit to the Dentist

I absolutely am terrified of going to the dentist. I don't mean the normal dread that other people tell me about. I mean terror. I try to avoid going to the extent that I know better and really should go more often.

It was at the end of August when I bit into a hot dog at a picnic and broke one of my teeth off at the bottom. Luckily I had a root canal done on that tooth previously and it really didn't bother me, so of course I avoided calling the dentist.

Two years ago I had a wisdom tooth pulled. Well, They tried and couldn't do it so they sent me to a surgeon. The cost was more than I could afford and the tooth stayed with me. It didn't really bother me. Until about two weeks ago that is.

Oh even better our dental insurance is canceled as of tomorrow. So I had a deadline. I knew I had to call and get my teeth checked before October and I finally did on Monday, September 28th. Somehow they managed to get me looked at on Monday and as I suspected both teeth needed to come out. The Wisdom tooth was infected pretty badly and I had to get antibiotics for it. I was getting a low grade fever from it and knew it had to come out.

So the appointment was made for today. Because of the time frame I couldn't be sedated. I was terrified.

I walked into the office at noon. My breathing started to get faster and my heart was beating fast. Yikes this was before the actual appointment. They called me in and I told the nurse that I was terrified and she assured me it would be fine.

The doctor came in and checked the teeth out and went right into extraction mode. I jumped up and retrieved my iTouch so I could listen to music.

Why do dentist tell us that it won't hurt? Even the usual "just a little pinch" is a lie. That Novocain shot is a horrible experience. I don't know how many shots of Novocain I had today but it was more than six. There was a lot of Novocain pain today.

Then he says to me if I feel something let him know, I should only feel some pressure. LIES!!!!! I can't describe the feeling but it was more than "SOME" and pressure isn't even close to the feeling I had. So I made a noise to let him know it hurt, he kept tugging and yanking. I made more noise, he didn't stop so I screamed. He stopped and yelled at me.

Apparently screaming was an inappropriate response and "this wasn't a cartoon" so I had to stop screaming. I explained that it hurt a lot. So more Novocain was injected. I was physically shaking and quivering from the pain and tears were flowing down my face. Luckily the last injection of Novocain was enough and soon it was over.

They wouldn't let me leave just yet. I had to calm down and stop shaking. When I finally left I had two less teeth and more reason to dread going to the dentist. I am all about sedation from now on. I go to be a good example for the children. I hope they don't grow up with the same terror and dread I have from going to the dentist.

Fuel for the Fire

Today was new scout orientation for my district. I brought my camera and was one of two "official" photographers for the event. This was strange for me because usually I am with my son at scouting events that involve the boys, today though he went to see "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" so I was on my own.

I have to say in the year since I attended the New Scout Orientation with P when we were new to the program so much has changed. I was one of the people who were running the program this year. It has just been one year and my role in scouting has drastically altered. I was a Tiger parent last year, now I am Wood Badge trained leader working on my ticket. I am one of the people who answer the questions now.

Tomorrow is the first meeting of the year and I already have ideas of what to do this year. I am anxiuos to the other parents ideas and get our program flowing. I want to plan hikes and camping. Get the boys out and about. Oh I am looking forward to this year.


I remember playing in creeks and catching fireflies when I was in Campfire Girls. We hiked on the Red White and Blue trail and climbed down a "cliff" to get to the creek. We dug in clay banks. We caught minnows and pollywogs. I remember a camp out where a raccoon invaded our campsite and wouldn't leave. We used buddy burners and wax burners with a smell so awful it still makes me cringe when I think of it. Oh those were the days.

Now I can bring that experience to my son and others like him. One year in Cub Scouts and I have high hopes and dreams. New Scout Orientation like last year gives me some fuel for the fire.

Only Until The Street Lights Pop On.

When I was growing up there was one rule that was so ingrained that I still find myself following it. We could play with our friends on the block, but when the street lights came on we had to go home. My children finally have playmates who live on our block and they all seem to get along. They are too far for me to just yell for them to come home. So the street light rule popped in my head. I know that P has impulse control issues but I thought I would try it out.

I told them both they could go play with their friends but when the street lights pop on they have to come home. It was hard for me to let him go down the street to play without me watching him, but I knew there was parental supervision. I kept looking out the window for the street lights and I am happy to say that once the street lights came on they came right home. I was so proud of them.

So now I guess the trick is to make sure they keep following this rule. I am heating up an apple pie for snack tonight because they have been so good with the rules today. Maybe that will help remind them to follow the rules and come inside when the street lights pop on.

How Long Does It Take Hot Dogs to Turn Black in the Microwave?

Last night I was helping my son with his homework. I like to do that on my bed because I usually have a clear view down the hallway and the entrance to the kitchen. That way I can keep tables on what is going on. Well, he was getting frustrated because I was asking him to do things differently than he thought his teacher wanted it done. He was so upset, then he was hungry — ugh upset and hungry is no fun so I let him take a snack break.

I am guessing that since I was dealing with an asperger crisis I missed my daughter going into the kitchen and putting a hot dog in the microwave. I also missed that the hot dog was cooking for a while.

P all of a sudden yells "Mommy, Mommy come quick!" So I run to the kitchen, I hear my daughter screaming and my son still yelling for me. Now my hallway is short, so it doesn't take much time at all for me to see and then smell the smoke. B is not even really screaming, I would call it a screech with squeal added for effect and pointing at the microwave. In that smoke filled microwave is a very black hot dog.

In one motion I stopped the microwave, opened it up, and swung around to open the back door to our house to air the kitchen out. I put the useless vent over my stove on full blast hoping it would aid in pushing the smoke out of my house. Then I scoop up my daughter who is just so upset about causing all this chaos and smoke. She is now crying and her face is just covered in tears.

She knows how to put a hot dog in the microwave for 30 seconds, but that is usually (I say this assuming I have missed a couple of these sneak hot dog microwave sessions) with me in the kitchen. I can now say that it takes about five minutes to turn a hot dog black to the core in my microwave on full power.

P and I finished his homework with B curled up on my lap. She was so upset that the house filled with smoke and insisted that we needed more fresh air in our house. I explained I had the door open and the windows too then P grabbed and empty Sobe bottle and ran towards the kitchen. I heard the backdoor open and was about to yell when he ran back in. He brought the bottle to B and opened it saying that he brought her fresh air from outside.

He continued to do this over and over again and B was feeling better. I wonder how it would have progressed if it wasn't bedtime? So the chaotic evening ended with giggles and fresh air. Both children went to sleep easily too. Hmmmm, I wonder if burnt hot dog is a sedative?