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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Father's Day Preparations

It exhausts me sometimes just talking with my soon to be ex-husband. A simple sentence like "I am going to take a photo for my Dad's Father's Day gift." will start a money battle. It isn't going to cost me a thing except the small amount of gas to get me to the location. He must think that every time I leave the house I will spend every penny that I can.

I want to get my father a thoughtful Father's Day gift. I don't have a lot of money to buy him fancy things, though I suspect if I did he would not want or expect fancy gifts. He tells me that if I buy him a Diet Dr. Pepper and make him a bologna sandwich he will be happy. I've done that and he was thrilled. Still I like the hunt of a perfect gift. I want to see surprise and joy on their face when a person opens a gift from me.

I am going to buy him a watercolor card of the company that he used to work at. They made amusement park rides and I think it was a job that he enjoyed. To go with the card I am taking a photo of the building and some of the rides that he made and I am framing it. The whole gift should not cost much money at all. I know we don't have any extra money. I get it.

What my soon to be ex-husband heard "I'm going to have my photo professionally taken by an expensive photographer for hundreds of dollars." So he got mad. So many arguments that we have had would have not happened if he heard and understood what I was saying. Of course I am no angel, I am sure my annoyance at him and having to reexplain things and just being me have caused many arguments too.

To me it doesn't matter who starts an argument, I just want to stop them. To him it is important to make sure that I know I caused the argument, why I caused it, and I have to listen to him rant about it until he is done. He will not let an argument stop until he says all he needs to. Sadly this also has meant the children have also had to listen to the arguments and he doesn't care.

So today I had to hear him yell and scream at me for spending huge amounts of money on a stupid gift for my father that we can't afford, when that wasn't at all what was happening. Finally when he was done I managed to get him to understand that when I say "I'm taking a photo" I mean I am taking a photo on my camera. It does not me that someone is going to take a photo of me.

I took my photo, but I missed visitor hours. I'll have to go back again. The anxiety I felt while driving was enough to make me nervous. I made sure I paid extra attention to traffic and I made sure I stayed at the speed level. I hate driving when I am like that, luckily it doesn't happen much. I got home just in time for a big hug from my daughter and we fed our bunnies together.

I am well on my way to my Father's Day gift to my Dad, the kids are planning theirs. I am sure it will involve a trip to the dollar store, and sadly Daddy might not even act appreciative about their gifts of love. Some years he does and other years they just collect dust. I wonder if he will even remember to call his father? I don't think he called his mother on mother's day.

1 comment:

  1. I think it's really good for the kids to celebrate father's day, even if he's not engaged in it. It's their celebration. My dd doesn't get to celebrate with her dad. However, I let her buy him a cheap gift with my money and I do the same for his birthday. It makes my daughter happy to do this.