Saturday, June 18, 2011
My Baby is Growing Up
All through my pregnancy I was worried that she would get stuck being born. It wa my one big pregnancy fear. Everyone reassured me that it will be fine, the doctor, my friends even my doula. Then my diva got stuck. Not only that but she tore me, the doctor said if he didn't know better that he might have thought it was deliberate. She jerked her head at the exact wrong time. When I first saw her she was pouting. When I saw her tiny fingers she gave me the finger. Yes my daughter was her own personality from the beginning.
Now six years have gone by and she is sleeping over at a friends house for the first time. Even that happened with her own little diva twist to it. She and her friend planned it all at school one day. She came home from school and started packing and was all ready to go. Luckily I was armed with the phone number of my fellow mommy who was being ambushed by her own daughter at her house.
Sadly we had to put a stop to that sleepover, and the girls were taught that all future sleepovers must be Mommy approved before the invitation. We picked a date two weeks in the future and the girls were happy again. The plans started again and all were happy.
I put all THREE of her bags into the car for her overnight sleepover. Then I added her two toned pink comforter. She had her pillow pet, and many other assorted stuffies with her. We drove around the corner and pulled into the driveway. I have never seen my daughter get out of our car faster.
She was so anxious after I rang the bell, "what was taking so long?" She was even tapping her little foot. I am in so much trouble if she is like this at only six!
The house is missing her energy tonight, it definitely feels different. She is old enough to sleep at friends houses. What will be next? With so much going on right now will I be able to handle it? I hope I can find a place to live nearby. I don't want to rip her away from her friends at the same time that her father and I live in seperate places. She will have so many things happening around her that I hope I can keep her in a familar environment. I would stay here if I could but that decision has clearly been made by his mother and I am not welcome. She is growing up and I am so afraid.