If it's not one thing its another. This week has been so depressing. We are broke. I mean digging in the couch hoping to find a few pennies to put gas in our cars broke. Luckily we have food and have paid all our bills. Payday is coming up so this is temporary, well at east until the day before the next payday. I really want pop. I admit it I have an addiction to the bubbly nectar that comes in many size containers. I haven had any for three days now. I am craving it as I type this.
We don't use credit cards, and try to pay cash for everything. Many times we have to pass on things we want because we just can't afford them. Someday I will go back to work full-time and it will be easier then. But now we live paycheck to paycheck and still try to find activities we can afford that the kids will enjoy.
We thought that our daughter would love soccer. She has been begging to play soccer for over a year. We told her that she could when she was four. When she turned four she wanted us to sign her up right then and there. We somehow managed to get her to wait until the Spring League started in our city. When I told her I had signed her up to be on a team with her brother she was jumping up and down. We took her out for her precious pink soccer socks and shin pads and she smiled so much I thought her checks would hurt.
Then she played her first game, it was cold and she was unsure and she would have nothing to do with it. She played only when daddy was holding her hand. Today was practice and we thought she would be more sure of herself and practice like before. No such luck. She was lying down and rolling al over the field and would try to hide when the coach talked to her.
It pains me to say that my first reaction was to think of the money we spent for her to be on the soccer team and of course for those fancy pink socks. I felt so bad as soon as the thought went through my mind.
I have to say that she still was having fun and the coach was so good with her, not pushing to much and not making her feel bad because she wasn't participating. If you didn't know she was on the team you would think she was a sibling of one of the players on the team who was having a blast just rolling around the field. She did go back to participating at the end of practice.
I wish I didn't have the thought of wasted money during practice. I wish my family had a schedule that would allow me to look for part time work. When I think his schedule is consistent enough that I can get a job around it they go and change his hours and make it harder for me to get a job. I have had to turn down two jobs so far because the hours wouldn't work with his schedule.
So we are broke and searching for pennies. We return pop bottles to get snacks for the kids so they don't know how bad it is. We struggle to get by and sometimes I don;t know if we will. I will sign my daughter up for Irish Step Dance lessons this summer and hope she likes that more than soccer. I dream of my next bottle of pop and hope we can at least buy a pizza this weekend.
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