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Saturday, June 6, 2009

The Day of the Rollerblades

Today just wasn't a good day. I tried to spend time with my husband. I thought it would be a good idea. I was wrong. He has had a bad few days, as have I. Today he wanted to buy rollerblades for our son. I thought that would be a bad idea. I wanted to save our money since no one in our house has a job right now.

We were at odds with each other from the moment we got in the car to shop for the rollerblades. He wanted to buy a $50.00 pair, I was sure we could find them cheaper. Then he pulled the quality card. I hate when he assumes all lower priced items are poor quality. I admit it I got irritated way to fast. The day was going downhill fast. I just wanted to try a few different places and he was assuming the quality would be bad and so he wanted the $50.00 pair.

So we managed to go to a few different stores and we finally compromised on a $30.00 pair. Still I was in a bad mood and we were snipping and sniping at each other. Somehow we have to learn to disagree with each other and not attack each other while we disagree. I just don't know how to do it.

One of the problems today was I forgot to take one of my meds. I think if I had taken it I could have controlled my emotions better. I can feel myself snapping and I know I ned to withdrawal from the situation we are in. I am learning to walk away before I make it worse. Now If I could get him to understand how counterproductive swearing at me when he is irritated at me is we might be able to make some headway to improving our relationship.

Today I flat out told him two things he has to work on to improve our marriage. He has to woo me. I miss romance. He also has to respect me. When he is upset at me he is mean to me. He shows me no respect with his words or actions. He claims he doesn't feel punished by our in house separation. I just want him to want to be with me again enough to change his behavior towards me. For over a decade he could be civil with me and make me weak in the knees. I just want more good days than bad ones. Is that too much to ask?

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