Monday, June 8, 2009
How Do We Get the Romance Back?
Last night an amazing thing happened. We started to argue with each other and somehow we started talking. The argument started and it just became a conversation. We both discussed how we can improve our marriage rather than destroy it. The one thing I did differently is I came out of my room and went into the living room.
I walked down our hallway intent on what I wasn't sure. When I got into the living room the conversation was starting to get louder and instead of retreating or falling into the usual pattern of tearing into each other. I think I got frustrated and sat down on the couch. Once I was on the couch we just started to talk.
He believes that because now he is going to get more sleep he will not snap at me as easily. I have noticed that our worse argument usually happen when he had six ten hour days in a row. Our worse argument ever was when he had to work thirteen days in a row. I feel though that I must point put that he and I are still awake. So I am not sure if the sleep will help because its sleep that we are not doing.
The conversation was long. It lasted for at least an hour or two. The only reason it ended was I was falling asleep and went to bed.
I again told him the two things he needs to concentrate on is to woo me again and show me respect. One problem is he just doesn't remember how to be romantic. Once upon a time I had a 3x5 card file of things that I found romantic. I wrote them out so he could have a reference of things I liked so he would have ideas of what to do. I think I will start doing that again
When we dated we had these long conversations all the time. He would do special things for me to surprise me. He used to be more romantic. I probably was as well. Since I can barely stand to be in the same room with him now I know I must be pulling away and more abrasive towards him. Not a good base for romance.
So how do we get back to romance? I truly believe if we could have the spark back that we had when we first together we could improve our marriage and be a better couple and better parents. I watch other couples and I see the twinkles in their eyes. I hear them laughing with each other. I want the romance back!