Can You Learn Impulse Control?

My son has asperger's syndrome. Which means he is on the Autism Spectrum of Disorders. It is a struggle to
try to understand what the world is like for him and how to help him live in my world. I say my world because that is my only point of reference. On top of that is the possibility that my husband also has asperger's and has never been diagnosed. Not only that but he seems to be in denial about the possibility that he may also have this and of course is receiving no treatment. He is anti-therapy 100% and that pains me because I know how much therapy has helped me. I wish he would let someone help him.

Today my son got upset waiting an extra couple minutes for daddy to come outside and play hockey with him. In that time he threw his hockey stick at my daughter and hit her above her ear. We hear the screams and couldn't get there fast enough to stop it. Then there is the yelling between daddy and son and it is really hard to tell who is the parent when they do this. I have to separate them first. Have my son go in his room to calm down. Then I have to keep daddy from going through that door and opening up all the ick again. Then I have to calm my daughter down and asses how badly she is hurt.

I always say I am the brain of our family. I have to make the decisions and make sure it all gets done. I have to stop the screaming and figure out how to get it all to work. I have listened to my sons cries and he keeps saying he couldn't stop himself, he didn't mean it and I believe him. I know it is very difficult for him to stop an impulse once the concept enters his head and desire takes over.

I also can't have him throwing hockey sticks at my daughter or cause any harm to himself or others. I don't know how to help him. How do you teach impulse control to someone who just doesn't get it? Once the thought starts it is like gravity takes over and it is a force that can't be ignored. Sometimes it sucks being a mommy.

Then of course he looks at me with that goofy smile that just makes me a lump of mommy mush and I feel all that love and know I wouldn't want him to be anyone else. I take the poor decisions with the excellent ones and know I am blessed by him in my life. My world is a better place because he is part of it.