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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A Few Phone Calls From School

Just as I am getting my daughter ready to go to school today the phone rings. I love at the display and caller ID tells me it is my son's school. I answer knowing it was the Principal and I was correct. She told me how he was having a hard time today and there was a substitute in the classroom for the morning. He had to be removed from the classroom to calm down and focus on his school work. The Principal understood about his anxiety with substitute teachers and just wanted me to know what was happening.

After I dropped my daughter off to school I started my list of phone calls. I called the Pupil Services Director, I called the school psychologist and the social worker. I still don't know if there is anything in writing to protect my son as he is bounced around in the school district. I need a new Vineland Adaptive Behavior Scale done on him by me and the school. I want a 504 or IEP in writing for him. I think I finally managed to talk to the right people and things should be progressing for him next month. Thankfully it ended up being a productive afternoon.

When my husband comes home he is once again in a good mood. That is always a good sign. I still keep my distance by spending a majority of my time in the bedroom. Of course this backfires when he allows the kids to "play" with the food in the pantry. He thinks the children will just move and stack the items. Maybe he forgot that one has no impulse control and the other one is 4. Well, the smell of food cooking ended up being several packages of dry sauces mixed with milk and water.

I step in to keep the peace. And since I am hungry from the yummy smells of my children's misadventures I start cooking dinner. It ended up being a nice moment between Dennis and I. We talked, no arguing and I paid attention. He really is just like my son in many ways. They have similar mannerisms and behaviors. There is no middle ground. It is either good or bad, black or white. Both can slip from a good mood into a mood that is horrific.

While we ate the school psychologist called and confirmed that the school would move ahead with arranging for the Vineland test. It is such a relief to see some action being done because I am advocating for my son. Now if I could only do something to get our family o start acting like a family. There is just so much friction and hurt feelings, I just don't know if it can be repaired.

Before bedtime we all snuggled up together on our queen size bed. We watched Caillou, which was the farthest thing from my husband's dream evening with his family. However it was a perfect evening for our children. My daughter is already asleep and my son is starting to settle down and fall asleep. Now we are in separate rooms watching two different shows and not fighting.

Once I get the house in a better state maybe our life will follow. I see glimpses of what could be. If I could get him to seek treatment for what I can only assume is asperger's like my son. To my untrained eye I see how they are so much alike. I see how they both escalate the same way, how there are no shades of grey. Neither one has impulse control. Can that even be something that can be learned?

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