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Monday, May 11, 2009

I'm So Tired

I hate having to do everything. It's not that I need things done a certain way, I just need them done. I need the lawn mowed without the borrowed lawn mower getting a bent blade. I need things put way where they belong, not just shoved where ever they fit at that moment. I want to ask my husband for help around the house without having to wait for him to feel like helping me.

When I have to think about hiring someone to help me in the house when I have someone capable of helping me in the same house I feel cheated. I grew up watching my father help my mother around the house. When she needed shelves in the kitchen he built them. When she needed the lawn mowed he cut it. He took the garbage out, he did so much for her.

Today he can't walk and still he does things around the house. Not as much as he used to but he still does things. Why do I get the husband who does nothing? Why do I get the husband who sits on the couch and watches sports all day long? Why do I have the husband who tries to arrange bedtime for the kids around a whistle in a hockey game? Why does my husband try to get out of reading a bedtime story to the kids any chance he gets?

What is worse is he is perfectly happy doing nothing? Because he won't do anything I end up doing more and more until now happens. Until I find myself doing more and more and not able to finish most of it. I am overwhelmed and understaffed. I wish I had about 50 people to help me get his house back in order. The more I work on the house the more I find that needs to be done and the more I find I have to do on my own.

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