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Monday, April 20, 2009

Anxiety or Just Frazzled?

Today I actually was motivated. I had my son up and dressed for school a couple minutes early even. My daughter too, we were all set for school early. That was the last calm event of my day. I dropped her off to school and then the Cub Scout Leader in me took over. We were going to be making worm bins in scouts tonight and I thought Milk Jugs would be perfect to make them in. That way we were recycling everything. Too bad I came up with that plan between meetings and so I had to find the bulk of the containers.

So I started my milk jug quest in the north-towns and made my way south. Then I got stuck in traffic when I should have been picking up my daughter from school. I think it was a car accident that tied up the traffic. I definitely saw several rescue vehicles with lights flashing. Did you know if you have the right angle the flashing blue & red lights can become purple? Yup, I discovered that today.

Luckily my Mother-in-law picked up my stranded princess and I managed to pick up my son on time. Then off for more milk jugs. I wonder how much gas I used while trying to be eco-friendly and make worm bins out of recycled milk jugs? Once I managed to get home at last, for the first time since I left about four hours earlier I had to dig up worms for the scouts.

I have a worm bin. The worms recycle newspaper and food scraps and I end up getting some good fertilizer for the garden. So I had plenty of stock for the scouts to start their own worm bins. It would have been an easy task but of course my children wanted to "help". I of course let them. My daughter was actually the best helper. She is not at all squeamish and handles worms any chance she can get. Sometimes even when you don't know she is doing it. My son thought he was helping. It could have been much worse. There was only a small mess to clean up.

Now I had to get dinner ready, always good to cook after you have been digging in a worm bin. The kids didn't want to get washed up and somehow no matter how many times my son washed his face it was still dirty. Deep breath Mommy, you can handle this. And I could have if I could find a time to relax, even for a few moments. Not on Mondays and I knew that.

Cub Scouts is next. I walked into the school with a bag of milk jugs and a bin of worms. The boys would love me today. The moms, maybe not so much. No matter how many times I tried to separate the boys and remind them to try to be more quiet it was a loud meeting. I could feel the tension and of course my son with asperger's is bouncing off the walls and no matter how I tried to bring him down to a calmer level he just wasn't getting there.

When the meeting was over I came in the house collapsed on my bed and actually started shaking. I am on meds for depression and to help me stay focused. The Psychiatrist says I have anxiety issues too. Hopefully he can get me a med to help this out too. This feeling of overwhelming anxiety happens on days when I am overstimulated and can't relax myself. Unfortunately it is happening more and more. Remember that old commercial? Calgon, Take Me Away!!!!!!

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