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The Chronicles of Pern: First Fall

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Monday, April 27, 2009

How Do You Get Someone the Help They Need When They Don't Want It?

He wants to come back, I don't know If I want him too. I don't know if he can really change. There was such a long stretch when were first together that everything was good. The last few years however have been hard. He is so insistent that we can work everything out ourselves but I see no evidence that he is willing to do that.

He needs some form of counciling, anger management or something similar, maybe all of the above. I just don't know how to get him to see that. Will he be so stubborn that he is willing to end our marriage because he is too whatever to seek help? Maybe I'll call his church for help won't that just be fun.

He is with the kids right now. I won't keep them from him. They need their father and honestly I need a break every once in a while. I know I can trust them with him. I know he won't take them. He has said that he won't fight me for custody if it comes to that. I need the children, especially my son to know that what ever is going on with Mommy and Daddy we both will always be here for them even if here is two different places.

Is there an intervention for people that need therapy and won't do it? I am so afraid that he is going to get worse and lose his job. Then I don't know what he would do. He has been fired by our psychologist. Since he wouldn't open up in session there was no point for him to even be there. Of course he doesn't know that because he never went back.

I will do all I can for this marriage to survive but I really am running on empty and don't see much hope. I guess 13 really is an unlucky number for us.


  1. Just remember to keep doing right for you and the kids. I know you are already doing that. Li and I had a real bad stretch too. It took alot for BOTH of us to admit problems, and make concessions. Neither was easy (we ARE both pigheaded). If he won't go to talk with someone with you, i strongly suggest you go on your own to help decide what is best for you and the kids.

    Your loving brother

  2. Keep doing what you are doing. Keep remembering you and the children have a right to be happy. Start on your own journey and hopefully he will decide to join you. ((hugs))