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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

What Are My Buttons?

I have been having issues with my husband. I have mentioned that he knows how to push my buttons and someone asked me, what are my buttons? What is he doing? I found myself at a loss. It is so easy to say "he knows how to push my buttons." I say it al the time, now I can't answer the simple question, "What are my buttons?". So I have been paying more attention to how I feel when he and I have our spats, arguments or issues, whatever you want to call it. While they are not as bad as they have been they still do occur.

One think I noticed today is he mocks how I say things in a "imitative" voice. It is something that can make me lose my temper in about 5 seconds. I absolutely despise when he does it and he does it all the time for everyone. He feels the need to mimic how people talk often. When he doesn't like something I say or do he will imitate me in a sarcastic annoying way.

Today he did this. I found myself getting really mad and I took a deep breath and decided that he wouldn't get to me today. I didn't take take bait and the argument didn't happen. I hope I am not always the one who has to step back from the arguments to keep them from happening. I hope that he too will get the strength to not have the arguments too. Its always good to have a dream.

I am going to keep my buttons "locked". If I don't let the pushed buttons effect me than maybe some of our arguments will be able to be averted. All our problems aren't his fault. True a lot of them are because of his behavior and quirks but I feed into it too. If I have to step back and pay attention to what is happening to try to save our marriage then I will. I can't do it all, but I have to do all I can.

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