I open his "fancy folder" from school every day with a sense of dread. More often than not his behavior for the day was off. Now it is beginning to effect his classmates. I have been not even thinking about medicating him. I knew it would probably happen, but I wanted to hold off as long as I could. Now that his classmates are being effected by his issues I made the phone call.
I called our peds office today to start the process. First I just want to talk with his doctor. I feel like I should be able to do more. I don't want to put my baby on medication. At the same time I am so worn down by his behavior. I want to open that folder and read some good comments. I want to not be afraid when I send him to school and not worry that he will do something to another student.
I keep saying I but there is a we involved. It just is I feel so weighed down by this decision. Sometimes just thinking about medicating my baby makes me feel like a horrible mother taking a shortcut. I know I am not, I know that this is something we that I have researched for many months. This is something my husband and I have debated about at length. This is something that we were considering for a long time. This isn't a shortcut and if done correctly will help P focus more while at school.
So I have an appointment next week and I am scared. I have all the notes from his teachers last year and this year about his behavior. I don't even know if there is anything else I should bring. I really wish there was a "So you Child has Asperger's" handbook so I would know what to do. So I guess I will just have to wing it and hope I can make the decision of to medicate or not to medicate.