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Friday, April 10, 2009

He Misses Daddy - The Giraffe Battle

My son has had a rough night. He couldn't find his precious giraffe. It has been a part of his world since he turned one. At times it is a constant companion sometimes it is for snuggling on the bed and there are stretches when it seems to be forgotten in a pile of a multitude of stuffed animals that are well loved by my children.

Lately the giraffe has been on the sidelines, but I know it is never forgotten. A child's beloved stuffed animal is something that must never be lost. As soon as an adult thinks that the now school-aged child has outgrown their beloved childhood stuffy that boy (or girl for that matter) will demand its presence NOW. When that same child has asperger's the attachment has new meaning.

The giraffe has been on the sidelines long enough to fade from my memory, but not from his. The same way I still remember a favorite toy from my youth that was mistakenly taken from me. I still remind my parents of how much I miss that stuffed Dalmatian, So I understand the love a child has for a favorite toy. Still I wasn't expecting this strong of a reaction.

My daughter has a stuffed giraffe puppet that she loves. If I had recalled his giraffe maybe I would have seen what was about to happen. He has seen the giraffe puppet before, but tonight was the second night without daddy. He is really missing his daddy. Now he sees the giraffe puppet and maybe he recalled his giraffe with the long floppy legs and a connection was made. A battle was about to erupt.

He decides he needs the giraffe. To him that is all he is focusing on and that is the only thing that matters at that moment. My daughter is not willing to give up her toy. She is four and sharing is not a concept she entirely understands. She wants to sleep with her toy and now her brother is screaming and stimming and basically is acting like he lost a body part.

I just kept talking calmly with him, it helped that daddy wasn't here because he unfortunately does not do well in situations like this and is apt to act just like the upset child. Somehow I talked my son down and a calm was once again felt in our house. I have to find that giraffe now. We have too many stuffies I need to weed out some of them, but am afraid too. What will the next battle be fought over?


  1. Thanks. zI just keep reminding myself that his brain works differently from mine and that I love him of course. That love really helps.